List of Moods

My own mood is very rarely anything other than bemused, and the English language doesn't do much better, with only three measly moods to call its own. But some languages have more moods than my high-school girlfriend. Meaning the girlfriend I had in high school, not that I have a current, high-school-age girlfriend. Though if I did, I expect that she would be moody too. Which is not to say that all girls are moody—I've met some very even-tempered women—but it would be just my luck. She'd probably spend all my money as well and then turn me in to the police, and then everyone I know would be disgusted that I went out with this underage girl, and my career would be ruined. That would be just like her. Anyway, here's a list of moods that I cribbed from the Wikipedia and wrote some explanations for. It's all very interesting.

Admirative

This one's for when you're surprised that something happened or, like, you want to be sarcastic about how someone did something they're usually not capable of. Like:

"Oh, I see you've managed to keep your pants on throughout this entire conversation. Congratulations."

Conditional

In English, we express the general idea by using the word "would" in an "if, then" clause. In other languages, this mood and the subjunctive are totally BFFs and hang out together all the time.

Declarative

The name kind of says it all. This mood's for declaring stuff. Like:

"I have way too much free time."

Dubitative

And this handy mood is for doubting stuff. It's popular as hell among the Anishinaabeg Indians.

Energetic

Not as cool as it sounds. In English, people compensate for the lack of this mood by using too many goddamn exclamation points.

Eventive

This mood's a Finnish variation on the conditional. It's almost a conditional conditional, like, "If you asked me out, I would (chances are) say yes." It's kind of a dumb mood.

Generic

This mood is used to express universal truths. A much, much cooler name for it is the Gnomic Aorist (not technically a mood, but it amounts to the same thing).

Hortatory

Also "Cohortative." This one's for expressing a plea or a desire. In English, we use the phrase "let us" where other languages would be rocking the cohortative. My boy T.S. Eliot does it with characteristic flair at the beginning of Prufrock:

"Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherised upon a table."

Oh, zing!

Hypothetical

This jam is used in Russian and some other languages in one of the kickest-ass kinds of clause around, the contrafactual conditional. Like:

"If she had told me her real age in the first place, I wouldn't be in this mess."

Imperative

We're all familiar with the imperative. It's like, "Do this, do that. Blah blah blah."

Indicative

Yup, it's for indicating things. Pretty much everything you say is in the indicative.

Interrogative

Leave it to the Welsh. They need a whole different mood to ask questions with. Everybody else just uses the question mark.

Jussive

This is the same damn thing as the Hortatory, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

Negative

This is a super effing cool way of saying that you didn't do something. In English, you have to use the performative "do" plus a negative particle to get the point across. Such a pain in the ass.

Optative

Best mood ever. It's like the subjunctive's evil twin. I'm actually not all that clear on how they're different. The optative's just, like, eviler.

Potential

This just means something's likely. Like:

"You probably haven't read this far."

Presumptive

This mood is only intelligible to Romanians. It seems really cool, but it's kind of tough to get your head around. It's like, if you have really strong feelings towards a verb you're about to use, you can put it in the presumptive and other Romanians will murmur and nod their heads knowingly.

Subjunctive

The subjunctive is used for hypothetical or unlikely events. Please, don't participate in the death of the subjunctive.